"The Greatest
Parenting Secret
In History!"

"Enormously needed parenting advice"
                                               –Gary Halbert

"Invaluable..."

"I was taught long ago that the older women were to help train the younger women. Your experience is invaluable, and God gave you the ability to put it together in such a way that younger mothers can learn from you. Thanks for doing this!
                                                               Mary Shores    : ) 

The Greatest Parenting Secret 
in History Revealed by a 
Mother of Five 

Dear Mom and Dad,

It's not supposed to be a secret, so why is it? Just that somewhere in our world of high technology, higher learning and advanced science, it got lost in the shuffle. 

Hi, my name is Martha Stevens

I'm a mother of five (3 girls 2 boys), all grown now with families of their own. And you know . . . everything I learned in the process of raising my kids came together with great clarity once they were grown and gone. It was easy to see what I should have done after it was over, but the time has passed, they've grown up and my job was done.

So, I sat down and wrote the book I wish I had when I was a young mother because if I'd known then what I know now . . . how much easier it would have been for me. Now I want to pass it on to you, to shorten your learning curve. 

But please take a moment to get the information below. It's like no other parenting information you've read anywhere else.

Learn from me 

If I can help you to avoid some of the stumbling blocks and pitfalls it will not only help you, but also your children who will be able to grow up with the kind of coaching and mentoring they need from you in order to blossom to their fullest potential. You will also grow into your fullest potential as the wonderful parent you want to be.

So, just what is 
the Secret?

It was only after my children had grown that in looking back I could clearly see the twists and turns, the difficulties and the obstacles that children experience in the process of growing up. It also became clear what it was that they really, really needed to navigate through those years without crashing.

So I began writing these thoughts down, not intending to write a book, however, having once put pen to paper I just kept writing.  

But, I won't keep you in suspense.

The secret is...

Surprised? So much emphasis is placed on educating the intellect — the BRAIN — that the heart is simply overlooked.

The brain gives one knowledge, but the heart gives it ... Direction ... and enriches life in a way that logic alone cannot. 

One can grow up and be a super genius, but without the emotional balance and steadiness that comes from an educated heart, a person's life may not run as smoothly as they would like, and even wind up being wasted or wrecked. No one wants that for their children.

Educating the heart is done by teaching Life's Lessons — the overriding principles that govern our lives — and the matching Life Skills that make it work. 

Educating the heart develops good character 
qualities and includes such things as . . .

• Honesty
• Kindness
• Integrity 
• Unselfishness
• Being a willing and diligent worker
• Doing chores without being told
• Reaching out and helping others
• Learning conversational skills
• Making and keeping friends  

There is much more . . .

They need to know the purpose of Rules (creates order out of chaos), and why they have to follow them. 

They need to know that . . .

The way they behave is 
the way they are treated  

In the home: Good or bad behavior earns either the goodwill or anger of the parents and the treatment they get varies accordingly. A child who continues to behave badly simply hasn't made that connection and responds, "What'd I do?"

Outside the home: If they behave badly or rudely, people draw away from them and don't want to be their friend. Bad behavior prevents the development of warm and close friendships and can lead to loneliness, depression and other emotional problems. On the other hand, when they behave well people draw close and want to be their friend, resulting in more happiness, greater self confidence, and healthy self esteem. 

Most kids never figure this out until they are grown up, but by then much damage has been created in their lives. So don't leave it up to chance. Teaching just this one simple concept . . . "The way you behave is the way you are treated" . . . rescues both you and them from much grief. Some people grow up and never get it — they never really get the connection between what they do or say and the way people react to them — often becoming blamers very early on and for the rest of their lives blame everyone else around them for things they themselves are responsible for. Chances are you probably know a few people like that.

Educating the heart
makes a big difference

I taught these lessons to my own kids as they were growing up and because of it they were very easy to raise — all five of them — even through the so-called difficult teens. (Did I mention that for many of those years I was a divorced working mother? So the whole load of teaching, training and raising them fell on me.)   

If I had realized then how effective the lessons were, I certainly would have been more diligent and consistent than I was. However, I'm grateful for the little I did do because even that made a huge difference. You see, I had always thought my kids were just naturally easy to get along with, to talk to, to raise—and to a certain extent, they were—but after teaching these life lessons to a classroom of kids for several years and observing other parents with their children, and seeing the outcome, I know the lessons made a major difference.

In The Schoolroom

Once a week I teach these Life Skills lessons to a second grade class of 7 and 8 year old kids. I have been doing this for the past six years. The teacher is delighted with the improvement in class behavior and attitudes of the children. No more troublemakers either because their behavior quickly improves as the lessons sink in, and they, too, become nice little kids. Other teachers noticed the difference in the children and asked if I would do the same in their classrooms.

The kids love these lessons and look forward to my coming to their class every week. Last year it happened that recess immediately followed my class time, and once when I ran overtime and the recess bell rang, I remarked, "Oops, it's time for me to stop!" The children reacted spontaneously, "No, no, don't stop!"  They wanted me to finish what I was talking about. Were Life's Lessons desired more than recess? Yes! Pretty amazing, isn't it? 

Let me be quick to say that I don't put on a "show" to keep them entertained. I'm just an ordinary person (I think I'm even somewhat boring), I just go in and talk to them about these life lessons ... and the subject matter itself engrosses them. The class is interactive, I draw them out, get their opinions, their questions (they ask very thoughtful ones), and they get to learn about life and what it holds for them, and what they need to do to prepare themselves. And even more important, they become aware of how important their education really is. The teacher is pleased at how much more studious the class became after these lessons.

What is it they are
so eager to know? 

Well, life is, after all, a puzzle, and they want some help, some information on putting the pieces together. That's what they want! And that's what they want from you, their parent. It's not enough to make them brush their teeth and clean their room. They want to know what life is about and how to manage it. . . how they fit in. . . why are things the way they are, and so on. 

Growing up is hard to do and they want to know how to do it right! 

They really want the answers
to questions like . . .

• "What is life all about?" 
• "How do I fit in?"
• "What are the rules?"
• "Why do I have to follow the rules?"
• "Why do I have to do this . . . that . . . or the other thing?".
• "How come? . . . who says?. . . so what? . . . who cares?" . . . etc.

These aren't "book learning" type questions, they are "heart learning," yet virtually all emphasis is placed on the academics — educating the BRAIN. Of course education is vital for getting through life successfully. However, the problem is that educating the HEART simply falls by the wayside.  Parents tend to expect Sunday school to fill the gap, and even though the spiritual overlaps and polishes the other areas in your child, the actual molding of the heart and its emotions must be done in the home by YOU! But how?

That is the Big Question . . .

How do you teach your children to have emotional balance? A good heart? How do you teach good character qualities and life principles to your children and instill it deep in their hearts? It's really not as hard as you may think. Kids love it, no, change that to . . . they are hungry for it! Why else would the second graders be willing to give up recess? They really do want to know!
 

Children, like all humans, have Four sides . . . 1. Physical  (The Body)     You feed, clothe and keep them active and in good shape. 2. Mental  (The Brain)     You send them to school to be educated. 3. Emotional  (The Heart)     It, too, must be educated. Done by the parents – YOU – at home. 4. Spiritual  (Your Faith)     Gives meaning to life. Without it, the other three do not satisfy us. Taking care of all four sides produces a "well rounded" individual. As the parent, your obligation is to see that all four sides of your child are cared for and developed. After all, what are parents for? Are you just a caretaker? A warden? No. You are, and must see yourself as, Teacher, Mentor, Coach, Guide and Cheerleader all rolled into one. You'll notice that teachers, mentors, coaches and guides not only teach their protégés but also critique and correct them, however, you'll also notice that Critic is not on the list. See your child as your protégé.  The Transfer of Power and Control  —  In EIGHTEEN Years!  — You raise your child from a totally helpless babe when ALL controls are in your hands, to a fully functioning young man or woman when ALL CONTROLS are in THEIR hands. (Yes, you will have to let go). Within a span of 18 years you must gradually transfer ALL controls over to them, so that even though they are still bonded to you, they are totally separated, independent young adults ready to step out and stand on their own two feet. "Look out world, here I come!" You really don't get a second chance  to go back and fix any mistakes Once they've reached that magic age of 18 your job is done!  (Even if you don't think so.)  And what you will have is . . . experience and hindsight!   And then you'll find yourself saying, "Mmmm, you know, I should've done this . . .  or that . . . or the other thing.  But it's too late They've turned 18. What's done is done, your child is no longer listening to you, they have shifted gears and become their own person, intent on running their own life, doing it their way.    However, until that day arrives, you've got work to do! What do you start with? Start with the basics... WORK! But... why start with WORK? Because the ability to work hard and get a job done lays the foundation for everything else you will teach them in the years to come. Such a child will be self motivated and accomplish much. Whereas a lazy child is difficult to teach and accomplishes very little even with considerable pushing and prodding.  "Laziness is like vinegar to the teeth and smoke to the eyes!" (Proverbs 10:26). It's a harmful quality in a husband or wife, so how much more so should you be careful that it does not take root in your children? An industrious son or daughter is a joy, a lazy one an aggravation.  You want them to be: Industrious workers. (Diligent and busy, not slackers or lazy) Self Starters. (Need no pushing or prodding) Able to carry a job to its completion. (Including the "finishing touches") Doing chores without whining or grumbling. (A complaining child makes life weary, but a cooperative, pleasant attitude is energizing, and brings harmony and pleasantness into your home) Reaching out to help others, especially siblings. (What a priceless quality this is, and how it delights a parent's heart) My book will show you how to eliminate the Number One Battle between you and your child — WORK!  Your child will become: A willing, uncomplaining, diligent worker who does a thorough job and even does more than asked, without being asked Does his/her chores without being pushed or prodded or yelled at A self starter who doesn't groan or complain The ability to be a good worker, carry a job through, and do it well without complaint, is the most marvelous skill one could have. It is a life skill that will take them through thick and thin no matter what life hands them. A VALUABLE  LIFE SECRET Everything we want to do  or achieve in life  requires some kind of  sustained effort   to achieve it.  It's called WORK! Nothing gets done without it.   Yet most kids never quite learn this concept of why they should be hard working. Many haven't even gotten past the first step of picking up after themselves.  Problem is, once the chronic scolding (you) and resistance (them) begins, a family becomes dysfunctional. That is why WORK is the focus of my book. It underlies everything else you want them to learn. It is the basis of harmonious relationships rather than combative ones and you will have a calm and peaceful home – an oasis from the world outside.  No matter whether your child is 3 or 16, these principles apply. I've included typical conversations in my book that you can have with your child, making it easy for you to teach it to them in a pleasant, conversational way. Results You spend a small fortune outfitting your kids from the neck DOWN. And then you spend another fortune educating them from the neck UP.  But of what value is it if they  grow up and can't handle life?   How valuable would you consider it then to get my book, "Raise Your Kids Right The First Time Around, There Is No Second Chance," to educate their heart, the seat of motivation? It is the heart that defines them as to the person they are, and the person they will become. The mere acquisition of knowledge does not do that. Hi Martha I do hope this e-mail finds you well. I ordered your ebook. It is tremendous.                            Regards                            Malcolm Don't reinvent the wheel . . .  By the time you learn whether your method  worked or not, they are grown and gone . . .  And precious YEARS are lost! Do you really want to be saying "Clean up your room" for the next 18 years? Instill that quality in your child at an early age and think of all the years of frustration you will save. How many mothers do you know who are still telling their kids at 16 or 17 to clean up their rooms or pick up after themselves? How much is a peaceful home and peaceful relationships with your children worth? How many years of stress would that relieve?   You gain the benefit of at least 25 years of experience without waiting for the years to pass! What an incredible head start that is. The book is solid information all the way through and primarily focuses on work and behavior. It's not just on getting them to do their chores, you can find that kind of information anywhere. I show you how to teach them the concepts and principles that underlie the reasons why work is, and will become, an important feature in their lives. That work and behavior is the basis upon which they attain anything else they want in life. That the satisfaction and joy which a job well done brings is priceless!  And you will know how to instill that pleasure in your child. You will also gain a new awareness of your role as teacher, coach, mentor, guide and cheerleader for your kids. It will make what you do, easier.   Martha Thanks so much! I loved the newsletter. Not only did it give me great advice on raising my child, but also made me more self aware. Thank you for what you do. I really appreciate it.                            Liz Tomey Get my book "Raise Your Kids Right The First Time Around, There  Is No Second Chance," today for $19.97 and I'll include... — FREE —  THREE VERY SPECIAL BONUSES With Your Order BONUS #1 Appreciation and Gratitude   This is key! It is so important. Appreciation and gratitude polishes your children and makes them shine. It is what underlies good or bad attitudes. When you grasp the importance of this basic quality you'll understand why time-outs or restrictions, by themselves, don't cure bad attitudes. This lesson also instills in them an appreciation and gratitude for you and all that you do for them and all that they have. This alone will lighten your load and delight your heart.            (Yours Free - Value: priceless)   BONUS #2 Measuring the Timeline   This is fun for the kids. This lesson measures their "Timeline" and gives them a glimpse of the future. The future is always hard to envision, even for grownups. But this gives them the "Big Picture," a glimpse of their future, their life. And it helps them to become aware of what's ahead of them and how the things they do now (schoolwork, behavior, attitude, etc.) impacts their future. This builds upon the previous lesson about appreciation and gratitude. Each lesson flows easily into the next — and their knowledge grows.     (Yours Free - Value: priceless)   BONUS #3 Building Their "House"   This lesson continues to build upon the previous ones. It is the  third of these three most basic lessons that once you teach it to your kids, you will forever have a "handle" — a simple, kind, and gentle way — for correcting and teaching them all the other lessons and skills they must learn as they grow. Because, the fact is, Mom and Dad, growing up and getting it right really is hard to do.    (Yours Free - Value: priceless) These three bonus lessons and the book will instill in your children a sense of responsibility and a caring about what they do and how they behave — you will begin to notice a change in behavior and attitude taking place and be quietly pleased.  What more can I say? I really want you to have all this material. This isn't something I put together on the spur of the moment or in a flash of inspiration. More than two decades of parenting experience stand behind these invaluable lessons. And with those years came hindsight, knowledge, clarity and, I hope, a measure of wisdom. I know you love your children, but sometimes it's tough to plow your way through the frustration and workload you face daily. And you hate it when you find yourself yelling. But that only happens because you don't know what else to do because, so far, no matter what you do, nothing seems to change.  You only have 18 years to be a hands-on Mom or Dad. And believe me, the years fly by faster than you think. (Wasn't it only yesterday your precious baby was born?) Don't let frustration or anger get in the way of enjoying every moment of it. And always remember, yelling is not parenting. My guarantee. . .   — 60 DAY GUARANTEE — If you don't see the results YOU want or expect  -or-  if you are unsatisfied with it in any way at all . . .  I WILL REFUND EVERY PENNY BACK TO YOU. This is my personal promise.       Order through a Safe, Secure Server Instant Access: Click Here To Download Your Copy Now,  Only $19.97 If you prefer to mail a check instead of ordering online, click here Note: The book doesn't come in a printed form that can be mailed to you. It must be downloaded and printed out from your own computer.  If you need help on downloading, click here for instructions.    Thank you, Martha Stevens raisingkids@aol.com Tell A Friend Do you know someone who would also like to read this information?  Why not send them the link to this site? Martha Stevens Stanwood, WA 98292 raisingkids@aol.com http://www.raiseyourkidsright.com   Copyright © 2007 Martha Stevens. All Rights Reserved